Nocturnal antics of a battered mind.

but i can’t help but want those summer times, were we all sat far to hot in a crowded room listening to Pogo and being unbearably happy. When none of us were worried about anything.

I want to be carefree and wonderful again, but i can’t or the next 5 years of my life will be the most miserable. Once i start being carefree my motivation to sort my life the fuck out will disappear. 

the first time i let myself slip will be the last and i will fail myself.

I hate it but it’s true.

Once I start I won’t want to stop and last year will be repeated and i will fail my course, myself and everything I want to work to.